Okay, okay. Let’s get some things straight:

• The “Great” Gatsby pines for a dame named Daisy.
• The GREATER Gatsby eats daisies.

• The “Great” Gatsby lives in West Egg.
• The GREATER Gatsby is shaped like an egg.

• The “Great” Gatsby enjoys sailing in his boat.
• The GREATER Gatsby is a benefactor to SIX maritime museums.

• The “Great” Gatsby is a LIAR and a FRAUD.
• The GREATER Gatsby has never told, nor ever shall tell, a lie. Indeed!

All settled, yes? And for being such a Good Sport, Mr. “Great,” I THANK you.

Tomorrow I think I shall picnic on the MOON.

-Gatsby