ATTN: Self.

Herewith is a list of MOST Urgent and Required tasks to Accomplish. Most immediately!

• Compose, sign, and post letter to Mayor Oscar J. Thrumblood RE: the most UNSEEMLY activities of neighborhood (incl. YOUTH & Puffins).
• Remove crabgrasses from back garden. Simply encroaching, they are!
• Take in lovely opera on the telly. Perhaps sing along.
• Eat faeces.
• Prepare suet and seed pudding for funeral wake of Mr. H. Pidgewidge.
• Consume twelve pheasants, seven porridge, nine apples, a simple stew, fourteen crusty loaves, and three bottles of sherry. (on diet)