To: GB
From:
Pliny (the Younger)
LXVII Oysterbath Way
Lower Triumphia
BCBG81
GB! Who are you, to accept my invitation to dinner and never come? Here’s your sentence and you shall pay me costs IN FULL, no small sum either. It was all laid out: one lettuce each, three snails, two eggs, barley-cake and wine with honey chilled with with snow (you will reckon this too, and as an expensive item, seeing that it disappears in the dish!), besides olives, beetroots, gherkins, onions and any number of similar delicacies. You would have heard a comic play, a reader or singer, or all three if I felt generous. Instead you chose to go where you could have oysters, sow’s innards, sea-urchins, and Spanish dancing-girls. You will suffer for this – I won’t say how. It was a Cruel Trick done to spite one of us – yourself or most likely me, and possibly both of us, if you think what a feast of fun, laughter and learning we were going to have. You can eat richer food at many houses, but nowhere with such free and easy enjoyment. All I can say is, try me; and then, if you don’t prefer to decline invitations elsewhere, you can always make excuses to me. Miffed, Pliny (the Younger)
GB!
Who are you, to accept my invitation to dinner and never come? Here’s your sentence and you shall pay me costs IN FULL, no small sum either. It was all laid out: one lettuce each, three snails, two eggs, barley-cake and wine with honey chilled with with snow (you will reckon this too, and as an expensive item, seeing that it disappears in the dish!), besides olives, beetroots, gherkins, onions and any number of similar delicacies. You would have heard a comic play, a reader or singer, or all three if I felt generous. Instead you chose to go where you could have oysters, sow’s innards, sea-urchins, and Spanish dancing-girls. You will suffer for this – I won’t say how. It was a Cruel Trick done to spite one of us – yourself or most likely me, and possibly both of us, if you think what a feast of fun, laughter and learning we were going to have. You can eat richer food at many houses, but nowhere with such free and easy enjoyment. All I can say is, try me; and then, if you don’t prefer to decline invitations elsewhere, you can always make excuses to me.
Miffed, Pliny (the Younger)
Pliny! I do say! Truly, your ego is as delicate as sugar filigree. And I’ll have you know that filigree, which you served at your last “gathering,” is a HORRIBLE DESSERT! I wanted EGG CREAM! I tire of these MOPEY letters, Pliney. Please just take me off of your invite list until you figure out how to throw a PROPER party. Yours, GB
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