Lady Hibiscus T. Porridge
888 Berrybrook Way
Republic of Plimko

Lovely lovely Lady P,How DO you do? I wish that I could say things were SPLENDID here in Gatsby manor, but alas! I can only call this day “very good” at best. You see, I had plans for a Great Luncheon Expedition, which have been unexpectedly cut short. A trusted friend has Failed me. But MY loss is your GAIN, for you see, the picnic basket is already packed to bursting, and I can think of no one I would rather share its contents with than YOU.
Allow me to describe the contents of my picnic basket:

• 1 Italian Loaf (crusty-type)
• 3 pots of Jam (Strawberry, Plum and Blue)
• Jicama and other crudités (FRESH!)
• And assortment of savory pies (some with Ham)
• Buffalo Wings (with Caviar-chevre-cilantro dipping sauce)
• Limonade (corked!)
• Port and Sherry (3 kinds each!)

Shall we say noon at the usual spot?
Adieu, adieu, adieu!
Gatsby

Allo Gov’nea!

Del’ghtful t’ ‘ave ‘ehrd from ya ona this fine spring day! S’rry ta say, though I are, but I seem ta ‘ave cau’t a bit of tha flu, Missa Gatsby! I simply cannut picinic wit’cha on this luvly shiny day or else me gout may’haps takin me right f’orth the gave now, sir. Hey now, can ya spare a bit of that jam sir? Or a bit of the buffalo wings? Just leave it ’round me backdoor, sir, and I’ll owe ya a shiny quid for your troubles next mornin’?

Cheers and a wot wot,
Hibiscus T. Porridge

To my coy Miss Porridge,

Your tendency towards inopportune bouts of illness never ceases to AMAZE! I certainly would not want to Put You Out. Your QUICK recovery is all that matters. As for your request, you are of course welcome to ANY jam that remains (probably just “Blue”). The wings, I fear, shall be the FIRST to go.

Forever your Gatsby